Hey!

In case you couldn’t tell, that was the voice of a twinkling little unignorable fairy.  The kind that tries to point you in the right direction and makes sure you don’t miss anything important.  The kind you want to smash into little fairy pieces just to see what would happen.  I can tell you exactly what would happen.

First, you have to select the right tool.  You might choose the hammer, but that’s big and clumsy and a bit annoying to control sometimes.  Instead you might go for the grappling hook because of its speed and range, even if it can be a bit unforgiving on accuracy.  Yeah, good old Grapply would be better.  Then you could mush the little fairy bitch against the wall in a gaudy golden splatter!

So you like Dragonball, too? We are good friends! Part 1

So, you like Dragonball Z, huh?  Yeah!  Well, there’s a new DBZ film out in Japan right now and the gears of promotion are spinning ever more rapidly with every free toy that comes with the utterly unrelated product that you actually didn’t want in the first place but bought anyway.  That means this is the perfect time for this next post, which is actually the first in a series of posts I intend to write exclusively about DBZ.  Subsequent posts in the series will cover the differences in Goku’s character, his relationship with Vegeta and a little secret about Krillin that you won’t find in the American virgin, uh, I mean version!  Version.  Yes, you are a version.

This being somewhat an introductory post, I’ll touch on some of the obvious differences between Japanese and English versions, and something that wasn’t changed at all.  These differences might seem superficial at first, but they point to some of the potential sticking points that can be encountered with localization projects for very large, mixed audiences.  I’m going to assume that readers are somewhat familiar with the characters from the DBZ universe so I won’t be giving much by way of explanation as to who they are or their backgrounds.  If you’re reading this, it’s probably safe to assume you also practice your kamehamehas in front of the mirror or in the living room.  Or the park.  Or the supermarket.  Or during board meetings.

Handlin' yo baggage!

Don’t you just hate baggage limits?  They are, however, a necessary evil.  Can you imagine a world without baggage limits?  Elephant trafficking would increase exponentially.  EXPONENTIALLY! Elephant populations would double overnight in developed nations.  OVERNIGHT!  And they would keep doubling every night and subsequent nights thereafter!  THIS IS WHAT EXPONENTIALLY MEANS!  Are you aware of the problems that would cause the already strained social security systems?  Oh, you are.  Sorry, I thought you were an idiot.

If weight limits were a bit less restrictive, I would have taken my beloved PS2 to Japan with me.  I could be playing all my fave games in the very land where they were conceived.  Happy happy joy joy!  At the time, I couldn’t even consider parting with my PS2, especially since I had just boosted my game collection with some smart Ebay purchases.  Sadly though, I had to say a teary farewell to ピーちゃん because apparently these things called “clothes” are actually “necessary” and we’re “expected” to “wear” them in “public places”.  I bought a ton of games for apparently no reason whatsoever.

How to avoid a lawsuit

Somewhat fittingly, I decided to make my first real post about a rather well-known localization change in one of the most popular games of its era.  The only way you won’t have played this game (in at least one of its many forms) is because you’re some kind of limbless invertebrate, or a piece of Dairylea, or five years old, or made entirely of up quarks.  I’m going to tell you in a minute what this game is, but first, let me tell you a story; the story of when I first found this big little variation. 

Jurassic Park was in the cinemas; the Chicago Bulls were all over that shit; and Nirvana were in the hit parade.  There I am flicking through a copy of my older brother’s SuperPlay magazine round Dad’s shop.  Me and my little bro weren’t allowed to play on the SNES unless our older brother, whose console it was anyway, was there to make sure we didn’t start stabbing each other in the eyes with RCA cables.  We had to make do with the mag.  (He actually caught us having a cheeky covert go on UN Squadron once, but it was only that one time, honest!)

Turning each page listlessly, longing glare in my tear-heavy, sapphire eyes, I wait intently until my brother comes back and I can start pestering him.  I flip the page to the pro tips segment.  “Oooh!” I think, “My brother’s got this game.”  Scanning over the words, but taking particular interest in the pictures, I notice what I can only assume to be a typo.  But that can’t be a typo because I’m sure I’m looking at a screenshot, and that’s not his name on the version our brother has!  Utterly confused by this I probably went off and start playing Batman on the Gameboy.   This is the extent to which I can remember that moment in my life.  That memory occupies the part of my brain where “remember to flush” is supposed be.

Down the Local

“Welcome to The Local.  Come in.  Get a pint in.  Get me one, too.  Then sit down, the game’s about to start.  Not there, you mong, you’re in the way!  That’s better.

“So, what brings you Down the Local today?”

“What the hell is this place?  This blog isn’t about pubs.”

“No, this blog is about games.”

“So, what’s the connection then?  Local Games for Local People?”

“You thought you were being funny there, but you’re actually right.  In a certain sense you’re right, anyway.  However, the games I want to discuss here were originally made for different local shops and different local people.  Specifically, Japanese local shops and Japanese local people. “

“Oh, right, so you wanna talk about Japanese games?  Don’t loads of ugly geeks sat in front of illuminating boxes do that already?”

“Yeah, but-”

“I can’t be bothered with another white-boy otaku bitching about how the Japanese games industry isn’t what it used to be since Nintendo sold themselves out-”

“That’s not what I’m gonna do.  I actually want to look at how games created by and for people raised in one culture are changed and adapted for people in a different culture.”